Terrorist Catch and Release Program

In 2003 the US Navy saw the handwriting on the wall when it came to dealing with captured terrorists and they instituted a heretofore classified program to ensure that both the terrorists and the bleeding heart liberals were appeased. This program was recently made public given the current mood in Washington to investigate every "torture" claim alleged during the Bush administration.

The new "terrorist catch and release" program is believed to have been approved by then Vice President Cheney himself. According to sources that spoke to me on condition of anonomitity, becaue the program unitl just today was classified, Vice President Cheney signed the order himself and when asked by President Bush about the program VP Cheney supposedly answered, "Not to worry Mr. President, I hear it'sreally an E Ticket ride! They will love it!".

Recently, a demonstration of this new policy was provided aboard the USS Enterprise during a visit to the Persian Gulf region. The results were...well...see for yourself!



Our sources tell us these particular terrorists were never touched...they were captured in this very automobile in downtown Bagdad and transported directly to the ship. This is in keeping with the older DoD policy of "Don't ask, Don't Tell". We don't ask them if they are terrorists anymore since, according to the Main Street Media they weren't telling us anyway. They were caught...and then released! With this new policy...who needs waterboarding?! How do you say, "Tally-Ho" in Taliban-ese?